How to Have Crucial Conversations

All leaders must learn how to master crucial conversations to enhance their ability to influence the people around them.

What is a crucial conversation?

• Daily conversations about tough issues between two or more people where: (1) Stakes are high; (2) Opinions differ; and (3) Emotions run high
• Use a face-to-face approach versus email and voicemail

The following four strategies will help you master crucial conversations.

1. Focus on achieving your ideal outcomes and consider your options. 
• Always ask yourself – what is my ideal outcome?
• Options include: confront, collaborate, accommodate, avoid

2. Master your emotions and minimize negative self talk.
• Step 1: How am I feeling? If you are in a negative emotional state, don’t talk to another human being
• Step 2: Change your physiology
• Step 3: Reframe the situation

3. Influence alpha males and don’t take things personally.

Alpha male attributes: self-confident and opinionated; highly intelligent; action oriented; high performance expectations; highly disciplined; unemotional (HBR Coaching the Alpha Male)
• Step into your strengths and go after what you want
• Continue to build your own skills, behaviours and experience

4. Celebrate and learn from failures and successes and move on.
• Do the best you can and move on

Adapted from the book: The Talent Advantage by Dr. Alan Weiss and Dr. Nancy MacKay, published by Wiley.

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