Setting Boundaries: How to Build Trust and Honour Commitments


All leaders must learn how to set boundaries effectively to build trust and honour commitments.

You have 24/7 and time is your most precious resource. Take 100% accountability for your wheel of life (career, money, health, family/friends, spouse/partner, personal growth, physical environment, fun) and you will be a leadership exemplar for others.

How to set boundaries (e.g., health goals):

  1. What do you want? Specificity speeds up results.
  2. Why is it important to you? What would you avoid? (e.g., seek pleasure or avoid pain). Make it a MUST.
  3. Let go of the past. What will you do to ensure success?
  4. What will you say yes to and what will you say no to?
  5. Write it down and publicly commit to others.

What gets in the way of setting boundaries?

  • Happiness Formula: Life Condition = Expectations
  • Misery Formula: Life Condition does not = Expectations (you feel stuck and play the blame game)

How to get unstuck:

  1. What is really stopping you? What is really true?
  2. What is it specifically that you really want? What needs are you trying to fulfill (love/connection, certainty, variety, learning and growth, significance, contribution)?
  3. What’s preventing you from getting what you want?
  4. Reframe the situation. What’s another way to look at it?

Trust Building Behaviours:
Talk straight; show respect; model transparency; apologize; give credit to others; deliver results; improve skills; face tough issues; clarify expectations; practice accountability; listen first; keep commitments; extend trust.