Building Relationships: Who is on Your Top 20 List?

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There are six human needs: love/connection, contribution, significance, variety, certainty, learning and growth. Love/connection is the most important basic human need. In order to achieve your full potential, you will need to build deep, trusting relationships with people in all areas of your life.

Here are at least 20 relationships for you to build in order to achieve greater success in life:

A. 3 LIFELINE RELATIONSHIPS

  • Peer relationships with 4 main elements (generosity, vulnerability, candour, accountability)

B. 3 VITAL FRIENDS 

  • 8 vital roles (builder, champion, collaborator, companion, connector, energizer, mind opener, navigator)

C. SPOUSE/PARTNER 

D. 8 COACHES/MENTORS/ADVISORS/PROFESSIONALS

  • Career, health, money, spouse/partner, friends/family/kids, physical environment, fun/hobbies, personal growth

E. PEER FORUM AND OR MASTERMIND GROUP 

  • Peer group of Lifeline relationships with common goals
  • Who are you and what do you want to get out of life?
  • What are your strengths?
  • Continue to build self-awareness and self-esteem

HERE ARE 6 STRATEGIES TO BUILD DEEP, TRUSTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE PEOPLE ON YOUR TOP 20 LIST:

  1. Get real and park your ego: looking good, being right, being defensive, playing the blame game, needing to always be in control
  2. Show respect: never say anything negative about anyone, get off your high horse
  3. Choose a positive perspective on people: focus on strengths
  4. Share your passions: what do you love to do?
  5. Share your BHAGs (Big, Harry, Audacious Goals)
  6. Share your past, present and future:
    • Past: 5 key events, 5 key choices, 5 key people in your life
    • Present: what are you worried about?
    • Future: What are you afraid of?

Book Sources

The Talent Advantage by Dr. Alan Weiss and Dr. Nancy MacKay, published by Wiley.

Who’s Got Your Back by Keith Ferrazzi

Vital Friends by Tom Rath

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman