How to Foster Healthy Conflict
DownloadLeaders spend significant time on conflict resolution, with conflicts arising from clashes in opinions or interests. Successful resolution prioritizes reconciliation over victory, fostering better decision-making. Leaders play a pivotal role in cultivating environments where healthy conflict thrives, employing adaptable conflict resolution behaviors outlined by the Thomas-Kilmann model to achieve success. Research shows that leaders spend up to one-third of their time resolving conflicts.
1. What is conflict?
• Disagreement between two or more people.
2. What is conflict resolution?
• Resolution does not mean win or lose. It means successful reconciliation. Life is about success, not perfection.
3. What is healthy conflict?
• Disagreement that results in better decision-making and ideal outcomes.
4. What gets in the way of healthy conflict?
• People ‘play nice’ and tend to avoid or settle too quickly to preserve relationships instead of disagreeing and doing what’s best for the business
• People focus on judgement and win or lose versus the language of agreement
5. What is your role as a leader in conflict management?
• To foster healthy conflict.
6. How can you foster healthy conflict?
• Be an exemplar for adjusting your conflict resolution behaviour during conflict situations.
7. What are the five types of conflict resolution approaches? (Thomas-Kilman)
Competing: You want to win. You satisfy your own concerns at the expense of others.
• Accommaodating: You let the other person win. You sacrifice your own concerns in favour of the other person.
• Avoiding: You don’t engage in the conflict.
• Collaborating: You look for win-win. You try to find a position that would fully satisfy your own and the other’s concerns.
• Compromising: There is no clear winner or loser. There are gains and losses for each person. Strive for success not perfection.
8. How can you enhance your conflict management effectiveness?
- Know when to use each approach and build skills in each approach. Each style has advantages and disadvantages.
9. What can you do to reduce conflict-related stress?
- Don’t sweat the small stuff.
- Never let ego interfere.
- Never hold a grudge or try to even the score.
- Never make it personal.
- Clarify objectives versus alternatives.
10. What are the major sources of conflict?
- Who has the decision and who is accountable for results?
- What decision-making approach should I use?
- What are the objectives? Stop making it personal.
- What are the alternatives? Look at benefits, risks and compromise (turf and ego issues).
11. How to resolve 90 percent of conflicts?
- Is this conflict about objectives or alternatives?
- Get agreement first. Objectives – Can we compromise?
- (Can I live with the other person’s position? Is this worth fighting for?)
- Alternatives – Can I live with the other person’s alternative?
- If not, can I demonstrate benefits and risks? (If not, can we compromise?)
12. What to do about dysfunctional behaviours?
- Passive-aggressive behaviour: confront it.
- Personality types: stop judging people (adjust your style to get your ideal outcome). Bullying: low self-regard – attempt to level the playing field; confront it.
- Rumour and gossip: tell people to stop spreading the negativity virus.
- One-upmanship: ego need drives them to always be better than everyone else; respond in the moment.
- Depression: encourage person to seek professional help; not your problem to solve.
Top 10 tips and techniques on how to foster healthy conflict:
- Set an example for others.
- Be factual, never personal and don’t generalize.
- Use observed behaviour, NOT assumptions.
- Get rid of psychobabble – focus on observed behaviour.
- Stop judging people.
- Sacrifice wants to preserve musts.
- Use the language of agreement.
- Don’t use culture or gender as an excuse.
- Never let conflict fester.
- If you are in conflict on a daily basis then you are the problem.
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