Building Relationships: Who is on Your Top 20 List?
Adapted from the book: The Talent Advantage by Dr. Alan Weiss and Dr. Nancy MacKay, published by Wiley.
There are six human needs: love/connection, contribution, significance, variety, certainty, learning and growth. Love/connection is the most important basic human need. In order to achieve your full potential, you will need to build deep, trusting relationships with people in all areas of your life.
Here are at least 20 relationships for you to build in order to achieve greater success in life:
A. 3 LIFELINE RELATIONSHIPS (WHO’S GOT YOUR BACK BY KEITH FERRAZZI)
- peer relationships with 4 main elements (generosity, vulnerability, candour, accountability)
B. 3 VITAL FRIENDS (VITAL FRIENDS BY TOM RATH)
- 8 vital roles ( builder, champion, collaborator, companion, connector, energizer, mind opener, navigator)
C. SPOUSE/PARTNER (7 PRINCIPLE FOR MAKING MARRIAGE WORK BY DR. JOHN GOTTMAN; FIVE LOVE LANGUAGES BY GARY CHAPMAN)
- You will live longer
D. 8 COACHES/MENTORS/ADVISORS/PROFESSIONALS
- Career, health, money, spouse/partner, friends/family/kids, physical environment, fun/hobbies, personal growth
E. PEER FORUM AND OR MASTERMIND GROUP (4 PEOPLE)
- peer group of Lifeline relationships with common goals F. Self
- Who are you and what do you want to get out of life?
- What are your strengths?
- Continue to build self-awareness and self-esteem
HERE ARE 6 STRATEGIES TO BUILD DEEP, TRUSTING RELATIONSHIPS WITH THE PEOPLE ON YOUR TOP 20 LIST:
- Get real and park your ego: looking good, being right, being defensive, playing the blame game, being a control freak
- Show respect: never say anything negative about anyone, get off your high horse
- Choose a positive perspective on people: focus on strengths
- Share your passions: what do you love to do?
- Share your BHAGs (Big, Harry, Audacious Goals)
- Share your past, present and future:
- Past: 5 key events, 5 key choices, 5 key people in your life
- Present: what are you worried about?
- Future: What are you afraid of?