Setting Boundaries: How to Build Trust and Honour Commitments
All leaders must learn how to set boundaries effectively to build trust and honour commitments.
You have 24/7 and time is your most precious resource. Take 100% accountability for your wheel of life (career, money, health, family/friends, spouse/partner, personal growth, physical environment, fun) and you will be a leadership exemplar for others.
How to set boundaries (e.g., health goals):
- What do you want? Specificity speeds up results.
- Why is it important to you? What would you avoid? (e.g., seek pleasure or avoid pain). Make it a MUST.
- Let go of the past. What will you do to ensure success?
- What will you say yes to and what will you say no to?
- Write it down and publicly commit to others.
What gets in the way of setting boundaries?
- Happiness Formula: Life Condition = Expectations
- Misery Formula: Life Condition does not = Expectations (you feel stuck and play the blame game)
How to get unstuck:
- What is really stopping you? What is really true?
- What is it specifically that you really want? What needs are you trying to fulfill (love/connection, certainty, variety, learning and growth, significance, contribution)?
- What’s preventing you from getting what you want?
- Reframe the situation. What’s another way to look at it?
Trust Building Behaviours:
Talk straight; show respect; model transparency; apologize; give credit to others; deliver results; improve skills; face tough issues; clarify expectations; practice accountability; listen first; keep commitments; extend trust.